It’s Happy Hump day again! Last week, during school vacation we went for a relaxing family lunch. We decided as a family, we would try a new place for the three of us. Hubby & I go for sushi alot, but never with Landon. He was determined to get a STAR on his chart for trying a new food! He did- and we are so proud! Way to go for overcoming your anxieties & fears. We love you Landon!
~Namaste~
Say it isn’t so. Sensory Processing Disorder truly controls Landon’s life. However, control doesn’t have to have a negative impact. It can force you to think “outside the box”, which for Landon, has made him more creative! From what he eats, what he wears, his anxiety, the ability to touch certain items and more, it all has a daily effect on him. However, this control doesn’t hinder him from having a ” normal” life. And I put “normal” lightly as I fully believe there is no single entity that we should define as normal. He makes friends regardless of his social anxiety. He learns ways to cope to loud noises. He focuses on what textures he likes versus not dwelling on those he doesn’t. Even his open bite posture causes him the inability to make certain sounds. Somehow, he manages to say words that he just shouldn’t be able too ( shock to his speech therapist as well). He truly is a determined little man, who I couldn’t be any prouder of.
At the eye doctors picking out his frames
Here we are again. Sensory Processing has added another “challenge” to his list. And again, I say “challenge” lightly as each challenge only makes you more unique. LANDON NEEDS GLASSES. Not because his vision is impaired, but for a whole other reason. Technically, his vision is 20/20. It’s when the environment effects his vision, (i.e. wind, light, glare) the glasses are needed. This is especially true for light. At his vision appointment, we found out that Landon has larger than normal pupils for any adult my age. Meaning, it lets more light in. Landon has always been sensitive to light as most sensational kiddos are, so having pupils that cause more light to travel through his eyes only exacerbates his visual sensory challenges.
Off to School with his new Glasses!
We all know schools are infamous for their horrible track UV lighting that would give anyone a headache. But those with sensory challenges are more susceptible to headaches, decreased concentration and poor vision because of this. To read more about how a classroom can affect kids with sensory challenges, click here. Landon’s headaches were so bad, I knew something had to be wrong. Here we are today with glasses that have a mild prescription, uv protection and scratch resistant. I am hoping this alleviates his headaches. He has been a trooper through all of this. Even at the 2 hour appointment, he let the doctor poke and prod all around his face and get very up close and personal. He was so well behaved and I was so very proud. He was even excited to pick out his very own pair of glasses. Now that school vacation week is over, the true test will begin. Will he remember to wear them? Will he lose them? Will he break them? Will they help with the glare & squinting? But honestly, I only care that he is not upset about this new challenge he has. He realizes that people are unique and his uniqueness happens to also include wearing glasses!
~Namaste~
Being Goofy with our glasses!
I promised. So, here it is. Here is the piece I auditioned with for Listen to your Mother. I was not chosen again this year. I tried twice, and it is not in the cards for me. I am not and will never be a public speaker and I am more comfortable with pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, if you will). Here is only a brief look into my personal adoption journey and down the road to motherhood.
The Unknown Feeling
My whole life I grew up the “adopted” girl out of all her friends. As if the term adopted had a negative connotation on it, which of course it shouldn’t. I was the girl whom also had an adopted brother (who has dark skin, mind you). So we kind of stuck out like sore thumbs in our nice cul-de-sac of suburban New Jersey. Never a day went by where it didn’t cross my mind that I was adopted. Never a day that it still doesn’t cross my mind. Let me introduce myself. My name is Joy. I am a member of AA Club. The “Adopted Adult” club, as I like to call it. And no- it’s not a real group and NO you can’t join.
Adoption Party 85′ (I was born in 83′)
Growing up, some days were better than others. The days of the name-calling were obviously not the better of days. We were called Rent-A-Kids, Dirty Laundry & Leftovers. I swear whoever came up with these terms needs to run & hide and never come out. Kids can be cruel. But, as a mom I know that kids weren’t born this way. They are raised that way. I truly believe that and I am NOT changing my story. When some people see something as different from their family or lifestyle, (like a white family adopting a darker skinned baby) they have to believe it’s wrong. In today’s society being different is almost synonymous with doing something wrong. I am here to tell you, I am 50 Shades of Different and for that I am Unique. As I got older, the name-calling dissipated, but there was this steady feeling that I couldn’t explain in my gut that didn’t go away. Just a small PSA, my gut was much smaller back then!
You were the feeling.
I thought once I was in my teens and fully understood all that adoption entails, the feeling would go away. It didn’t. And although this feeling didn’t affect my daily routine; the fact that I couldn’t explain how it felt was aggravating to say the least. I pride myself on being an emotional person. I know silly right? But I do. I wear my heart on my sleeve and feel constricted in life when I hide my true feelings. I like to express how I feel, even if what I am feeling is not quite pleasant. I have lost many friendships over this attribute, but that is for another day- or perhaps my therapist.
Holly, Joy & Nick-The Christmas Siblings
You were the feeling.
Listen- this feeling or lack of feeling that I am talking about, is mine. Doesn’t mean each person who is adopted feels the same. These are mine and only mine. It’s what makes me: me.
All of crazy Me!
You were the feeling.
Even with this unexplainable feeling inside- there were never any doubts. Never did I ever have to doubt that I was loved. Never did I ever have to doubt I was wanted. Never did I ever have to doubt I was accepted. Never did I ever have to doubt that I was special. But….
You were the feeling.
However, having no doubts doesn’t mean having no feelings. We are taught that feelings are something we should express. Feelings can impact how you act and how you speak. However, how do you express a feeling when you have no idea what that said feeling is. For me, the feeling of being adopted is unexplainable. To me, it’s like a birthmark, something that I will have forever. This mark doesn’t make me sad, and it doesn’t make me happy. Again, it just makes me: ME.
You were the feeling.
But, how do you explain the feeling you have when you look at your entire family, immediate & distant and see NO physical similarities? How do you explain the feeling that you know your mother and father didn’t see you enter this world? How do explain the feeling when a doctor asks you about your medical history and all you can say is “Not Applicable”? How do you explain the feeling when people feel bad for you because you don’t know who your biological parents were? How do you explain the feeling that you should know how to feel, but feel bad because you can’t explain it? How do you? I am 31 years old and I still don’t know how to explain some of these. But it’s OK. It makes me stronger person. Trust me, it does.
Hubby & I
Not knowing whom I was, or where I came from was confusing as a child. I would use my imagination to fill in the details. My imagination was like my own personal “Looking Glass”. (Alice in Wonderland has nothing on me!) When I look into the looking glass, every detail is there, but oh so vaguely. My mind would allow me to take all the attributes of my mom & dad and envision who I could become with their help. Nature vs. Nurture people. It’s real and I am living proof. When I looked into the looking glass, or should say my imagination, I could hear myself. I could see myself. Never clearly though. I would see a silhouette of myself. Craving more of the details, I was always left wondering & wanting more. Never really understanding who I would resemble more. My mom? My dad? Someone in my biological family? I would try and force my imagination to go deeper, so I could see myself more & more. But I couldn’t. There was this fog. Just glimpses. Always through a frosted glass. Never fully able to make out anything in its certainty. Maybe it was my minds way of showcasing my individuality. That I could take the foundation of what my family created and use it to become who I wanted to be. Who I was meant to be. Maybe. Maybe it was because I couldn’t see clearly until you. Maybe. Maybe you were the key.
YES- it was you all along.
Nov 19th 2007 Landon’s Birthday
Flash-forward to 2007, my son Landon was born and a piece that I didn’t know was missing inside of me suddenly was there. I had this instant connection. A connection I never knew I wanted. It all made sense after I held Landon. Literally, it was like bells went off, and fireworks and the angels were singing. As strange as it sounds, it all happened.
You were the missing piece. Like a puzzle. A puzzle that even with all BUT one piece can still be complete. The missing piece doesn’t affect the picture trying to be depicted. You were that missing piece. You were the feeling. The piece of the puzzle that my body didn’t know it needed. You were the feeling. You are my connection. You are who I was meant to be. I was meant to be your mother. Maybe being adopted, and being a part of an unconditionally loving family was what I needed to be the best mother I could be to you. You were the feeling. I am complete because of you.
~Namaste~
Landon John Friedman
* This post is a sponsored post but views are my own and in now way was I made to express my feelings in a certain way.
I will never forget the first time I ever heard of Seventh Generation. My mother was working at a local natural foods market in Barrington, RI and brought me home a package of diapers and laundry detergent for Landon. I thought it was some “fuddy duddy” stuff that would cost an arm & a leg and not even work. Boy, was I wrong. Back in 2008, my love affair with Seventh Generation was formed. Fact: Seventh Generation has worked for over 25 years creating a healthy home by delivering plant derived products using bio-based ingredients. Do you know what is under your cabinet?
As sad as this sounds, it wasn’t until I had Landon that I really paid attention to what was in my household cleaners or even food for that matter. When I read all the benefits on the back of the package and bottle of detergent, I immediately thought, “why isn’t there benefits written on the ones I have at home”? Because the only benefit of “those” cleaners is a shiny kitchen counter that may smell good in the process. There was no recycling benefit from the packaging. There was no benefit that it was all natural or safe for children. There certainly was no benefit that it helps the environment for our next generation. This stuck with me. Till this day, Seventh Generation is my go-to cleaner for my household. Over the years, I have developed a natural homemade cleaning solution but Seventh Generation is always a member of this household in some form.
Did you know that research shows that exposing yourself & children to toxins can increase your risk of cancer, asthma, Alzheimer’s and even birth defects? Did you know that since the Toxic Substances Control Act was enacted in 1976, over 85,000 synthetic chemicals have been introduced but only 10% of those have been tested for potential human toxicity? This is not ok with me. This should NOT be ok with you. We should not be OK with inviting products into your home with no testing done. Your children are not test subjects for these chemicals. Heck, we are not test subjects! We can do something. Our voice can be heard. Sign the petition to demand reform of the TSCA in which the Toxin Freedom Fighters will present to Congress on April 30th 2014. Spread the word. NOW. GO.
Visit www.fighttoxins.com to sign the petition!
School Pictures can go terribly wrong. Especially when you have a moody 6 year old who likes to get what he wants at all costs. For example, Landon was less than thrilled with the background I chose. He wanted the waterfall & trees. So- he let me (and the photographer) know that he wasn’t going to cooperate. If this picture isn’t a giant F@%K You Mom, I don’t know what is.
Showcasing for your enjoyment- Landon’s Kindergarten Picture 2014
I don’t have a regularly scheduled “Girls Night Out”, (which I am thinking now I should). I don’t work outside the home. I rarely have adult contact throughout the day, (the husband doesn’t count). Most of my free time is spent at the studio working out, running outside, showering (a long, hot one) or playing Legos. So, this weekend when my scrapbooking retreat came I was so very excited. I have been on two already this year, but this one was different. I was going out-of-town for it. I was attending a Cool Crops Scrapbooking retreat. Staying at a hotel, meals being prepared for me, and coming back to a bed that had been turned down and ready to go. Oh Yes. I was thrilled. Not only would I have almost 3 free days of no cleaning, cooking, letting the dogs out, feeding said dogs (and cats too), but I would be able to embrace my creativity. But, in all things “Joy”, nothing goes as planned.
Creativity amid Chaos seems like it shouldn’t work. And when things started to go awry on my retreat, I thought it was hopeless. Boy was I wrong. For starters, no sooner did I arrive in Maine, the husband called to let me know that Landon needed to be picked up from school. He was complaining of a headache. Normally, this wouldn’t have been such a big deal. However he has been complaining of headaches for over a month now. We even had a headache chart the doctor wanted us to fill & monitor. So, of course I am a wreck. Then my neck & shoulder started to throb. Numbing pains shooting down swiftly. It would make me lose all my feeling in my hand (writing hand no less) and mess up each time it did. Then my tooth started to throb. Friday night I felt like someone had stepped on my jaw and broke it into a billion little pieces. I contemplated leaving Saturday morning. How could I concentrate and create masterpieces when my mind was obviously all over the place.
A call to my dentist for a prescription, a trip to a local CVS and lots & lots of caffeine, I made it through the weekend. And, honestly think that because I had to concentrate hard on not focusing on the pain & what was going on at home, I completed my most pages ever- and some of my favorite ones as well. The moral of the story is: when chaos takes over your life, embrace it. You never know how it can affect you in a positive way. Sometimes it’s best to just “roll with the punches”……. Or my favorite saying, “When life gives you lemons, you make Margaritas”!
~Namaste~
-HERE ARE SOME OF MY FAVORITE PAGES FROM THIS WEEKEND-
Please excuse the terrible quality of the photos- as my son cracked my screen on my Ipad…..Boo 🙁
10 Things to tell a woman before she has a baby
1. You should relish in the fact that you can go on a 4 hour road trip and hold your urge to use the bathroom. Really.
2. Next time you see a mother sneeze and not cover her nose, don’t roll your eyes. She had to make the hard quick decision to tighten her legs or cover that nose…..I always pick the first…..it’s a hard decision you just have to live with!
3. Enjoy those perky little things on your chest! After a baby, invest in a really nice push-up bra…..or don’t…….either way- Enjoy them NOW!
4. You look gorgeous in that designer silk blouse, white pants and high stilettos! Learn to embrace black yoga pants, flowy cotton shirts and slip on boots- it’s your new uniform!
5. Gas & heartburn. Welcome to your new Reality. If you experienced these before, well then, get ready for some an insane firework display to happen inside of your body. Have fun!
6. If you want a clean house, hire a maid. Or plan on cleaning every night when the moon is high, the babies are silent and you are practically dead. Zombie-like dead.
7. Invest in stain remover. I repeat, invest in stain remover. Pronto!
8. Eating a quality meal consists of being the official taste taster of all the food your baby consumes. Yum…….bright orange carrots that taste like shit…..Delish!
9. Grocery shopping (alone) is the best thing ever. If you can score a Target shopping trip- well my lady friend, you just won the mommy lottery!
10. Prepare to be so overwhelmed, filled to the brim with love, tired, grumpy, overjoyed the next minute and willing to embrace all the challenges and rewarding moments that come with being a mom!
What do you wish someone told you (honestly) about what to expect when you were expecting????? Share- I would love to know!
My house is small. Like 640 sq. foot small. I love it (most days). It’s easier to clean, cheaper to heat but has it’s drawbacks as well. I love pictures. Anything really. Prints. Vintage. Photographs. Even Landon’s artwork deserves to be showcased on a wall. However, with an entire wall being utilized by our TV/Bookshelf wall unit in our tiny kitchen/living room combo- it truly leaves no where for us to hang pictures.
I saw this project on Pinterest. Oh, how I love thee. You can make me so motivated and yet so unhappy the next. I mean, sure I am crafty. I can handle myself with most projects I see & love. But, then I see you need space for “said” project. And it reminds me that my house is the size of someone’s two-car garage. When you are like me and love to showcase many photos at once, this project is a must. And if you are also like me, with always needing to change out “said” photos every once in a while, this project is a must. Just take my word for it. This DIY Collage Frame project is must and can work in any room.
Materials Needed:
A frame ( I suggest one large enough to hold 4- 4×6 photos to get the most out of it)
Twine/Ribbon/Yarn (in a coordinating color with the room you choose to display in)
Scissors (to cut with-LOL)
Mini Clothespins (any craft store will have these)
Tape ( to tape ribbon/twine to back of frame)
You can see my finished project below. I love it so much. I will be making one for my son’s room as well as a gift for my mom. You can get as creative as you want with this. This is such a great space-saving project, but also so unique to add to any room regardless of size/space limitations. If you try this- please let me know! I love seeing finished projects!
Growing pains. All kids get them. As their parents we will never really know how painful they actually are to our kiddos. The thought of my kid going through any pain at all, just makes my heart ache. Last weekend Landon was in such intolerable pain we almost went to the hospital. He couldn’t walk. He needed us to compress his ankle & shin for almost 1 hour. This was the only thing that helped him. Even with us holding his ankle, massaging where he asked and a dose of Ibuprofen, he was hysterical. We were at IKEA, drove almost 90 minutes in the rush hour traffic all to be there for 5 minutes and leave. We left the IKEA parking lot and had to pull over at a local Walgreens. We sat for almost 2 hours until we began our journey home.
Long story short: after the doctors appointment the next morning, we all came to the conclusion that it was either a charley horse gone wrong, or just very bad growing pains. But regardless of what it was, the doctor explained to us that it was probably almost as painful as a minor fracture or pulled ligament. This is due to sensory kiddos feeling pain in different way than their peers. So, of course my heart broke even more when I thought about that.
I always knew he felt his emotions differently from others, but never actually stopped to think about physical pain. As much it sucks seeing him fight though his emotions, try to explain his feelings and feel tremendous amounts of pain, I know all these things will make him a stronger person, one with empathy no doubt. Does your little one have growing pains? What are some home remedies you do to calm them? Share away- I would love to know!
THEN- 18 months
NOW- 6 years
My Excitement!
Corner Bakery Cafe has finally made its way to New England. And better yet, to Little Rhody! These past 2 months, Corner Bakery cafe opened not ONE, but TWO locations in Rhode Island. One location is located in the expanding Garden City Shopping Center, while the other took over the old Fresh City location across from Best Buy on Route 2. Many friends and family of mine travel and have told me about this place way before they opened here. They would always compare it to Panera Bread, which we have plenty of in Rhode Island. Let me tell you- WAY BETTER THAN PANERA. I will be making a weekly visit to the Warwick location because the options for good food & good service are endless.
The decor inside is impressive. I just love the collages of pictures and scenes on the wall. Maybe it’s because I am an avid “scrapper” and it reminds me of my scrapbooks. But my favorite is something you may not notice unless you sit in a particular spot. When sitting in one of the booths along the wall, there is a brick overlay that runs parallel to the booths! I love brick and love the idea of making it a border. The whole atmosphere just makes you feel like you are at home. The booths are large and comfy. Of course there are tables as well, but you will always catch me in a booth. I have my eyes on the big round booth next visit!
This restaurant is classified as FAST CASUAL. However, it stands out from their other competitors in a few ways. First, when you order your food, you are given a number to take to any table you wish to sit in. The food is brought directly to you. Not only during their “slow” time, but ALL-the-time. Second, you do not need to go fetch your own silverware & napkins. It is all brought to you when you food arrives. It even comes packed in a little brown bag for that extra “homey” effect I was talking about. Third, when you are finished with your meal, you are not expected to find the trash, wipe your plates clean and place each thing in the appropriate bin.No, they come around sporadically to remove anything you wish. You feel like you are out to eat at a full-service restaurant without having to pay for the full-service price in addition to tips. This place is the real deal!
Let’s get down to the real deal now. The food was Delish! My husband and I created our own combinations. He got the roast beef with goat cheese & New England Clam Chowder. I ordered the Veggie Melt with the Spinach Salad. Needless to say, we both cleaned our plates.
Of course, I ordered dessert to satisfy my unwavering sweet tooth. I ordered the blueberry handpie. It is like a grownups version of a Poptart. Flat it is not. It is full & fluffy, filled with a delicious blueberry jam like filling. OMG- Want one now! Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner. Whatever your fancy, the time is perfect to try their amazing meals. To view their menu, click here. They even offer catering for parties, corporate events and large gathering.
I spoke to both Chuck Logue, General Manager and Miguel Serrano, Managing Partner while on my visit. During our talk, Chuck mentioned something that kinda stuck with me. He told me that they have a principal saying that each employee should always be following. “BE NICE, SAY YES”. WOW! You hear the saying, “the customer is always right”, a lot, but the fact that this company chooses Kindness first makes me believe that they really do care. They are not just gong to say YES because that’s whats expected. They want to say YES, BECAUSE they truly want to make your visit enjoyable. Please go visit today, you won’t be disappointed I promise! While you are there say “Hi” for me and eat a blueberry hand pie while you are at it!
* if you want to win one of 2- $25 Gift Card to Corner Bakery Cafe– Follow the steps below to Enter & share with your friends. Who knows, maybe if they win, they will invite you to lunch on them!