This is me! I am JOY!
I work very hard. I work for a multiple of paying gigs. I work on keeping my little 860 square foot home clean & organized. I work at raising my son to be a gentleman. One who opens doors and says please & thank you. I work at helping my son understand his emotion needs. I work at being a good daughter. I work at being a good friend. I work at being a good sister. I work at spoiling my niece and nephews. I work at being an attentive and loving wife. I work at keeping the 75 pounds of weight I lost, off. I work on my social anxiety everyday. I work at being good to the environment. I work at eating healthy. I work hard, very hard.
Therefor, as a working mother, many may think I would say working moms have it harder than stay at home moms, or even women with no children for that matter. But I have to disagree. I don’t disagree that working moms have it hard because we definitely do, I disagree that stay at home moms and childless workers don’t. Why is it my right to judge what someone does. Each person is entitled to their feelings towards their own responsibilities, whether it is at home or in the workplace.
I know the stigma in the workplace is that working parents get more slack. And in the “mommyworld”, people think stay at home moms have it easier and vice versa. Well, I say Screw that. Screw you society for putting this nonsense into our heads. Yes, I say OUR heads because I was one of the workers with no kids who used to get frustrated at the “slack” I saw being given to parents in the workplace. When someone needed to take their child to the doctor, or soccer practice it was fine. But if I needed to go to the doctors or heaven forbid take my dog to the vet- I needed to call out sick or take a personal day. The flexibility towards employees was never universal in the workplace. I realized over time that it was not my responsibility to care what others did or didn’t do with their time. It was not their fault that they weren’t being held to the same standard as I was. I was not going to fall into the trap society dug for me and take my frustrations out on them.
What it is time for- is for companies, more importantly Society to give employees (all employees) the same flexibility (within reason) to pursue their other goals. If a mother or father needs to take their child to practice, let them. But if Joe needs to take his elderly mom shopping or take his dog to the vet, then he can too. We as humans, should all be entitled to the same flexibility as one another. I mean I can assume we are all human on this planet right? No-one will hold that assumption against me, will they? We are all in this world together. Can’t we all agree that having happier employees makes for more productive employees? We all live different lives, each one is unique. You should never judge someone’s life unless you can walk a day in their shoes. (Love that saying- it’s been around forever because its true!) And this isn’t just a finger pointing session on companies. Moms-you are next. Why are we so harsh on each other? Why? Who gave us the right to say that what you do each day isn’t meaningful, fulfilling, hard, demanding, satisfying and beyond? We should be building each other up instead of tearing each other down.
As a single working woman, then to a stay at home mom and finally to a working mom, I see how society, the workplace and just other peoples narrow-minded views can affect you and make you judge others. I will not judge anyone anymore. I do not want to judge anyone. I want to live my own life. I don’t want to think what if. There is NO what if. There is only NOW. Live YOUR life. If you don’t stop judging what others have created, you will never create your Best life.