10 Things to tell a woman before she has a baby

1. You should relish in the fact that you can go on a 4 hour road trip and hold your urge to use the bathroom. Really.

2. Next time you see a mother sneeze and not cover her nose, don’t roll your eyes. She had to make the hard quick decision to tighten her legs or cover that nose…..I always pick the first…..it’s a hard decision you just have to live with!

3. Enjoy those perky little things on your chest! After a baby, invest in a really nice push-up bra…..or don’t…….either way- Enjoy them NOW!

4. You look gorgeous in that designer silk  blouse, white pants and high stilettos! Learn to embrace black yoga pants, flowy cotton shirts and slip on boots- it’s your new uniform!

5. Gas & heartburn. Welcome to your new Reality. If you experienced these before, well then, get ready for some an insane firework display to happen inside of your body. Have fun!

6. If you want a clean house, hire a maid. Or plan on cleaning every night when the moon is high, the babies are silent and you are practically dead. Zombie-like dead.

7. Invest in stain remover. I repeat, invest in stain remover. Pronto!

8. Eating a quality meal consists of being the official taste taster of all the food your baby consumes. Yum…….bright orange carrots that taste like shit…..Delish!

9. Grocery shopping (alone) is the best thing ever. If you can score a Target shopping trip- well my lady friend, you just won the mommy lottery!

10. Prepare to be so overwhelmed, filled to the brim with love, tired, grumpy, overjoyed the next minute and willing to embrace all the challenges and rewarding moments that come with being a mom!

What do you wish someone told you (honestly) about what to expect when you were expecting????? Share- I would love to know!