When I think about Motherhood, it’s only suffice to say that the first thing that pops into my head is MY son Landon and also how Motherhood is a life long lesson. Most people think parents are the ones who do most of the teaching when it comes to children. But we are wrong. Children have a way of opening our hearts & minds in ways we never thought possible & in turn teaching us about life. So, when I think of motherhood, Landon comes to mind not only because he is my son, but because he has taught me lessons on life that I will never forget. And most were taught before he was even here.
How is this possible you may ask? Landon was a thought, a plan, a vision even before he was on this earth. He had to be….So in turn he taught us our very 1st lesson of having HOPE. Hope for expanding our family and Hope that everything would turn out how it was meant to be.
You see, I have PKU. PKU is a rare genetic disorder that means my body can’t break down protein. Protein is in 99.9999% of all the food we eat. Yeah, crazy I know! But my middle name is crazy so….(no not really- well maybe sometimes..lol). Too much protein in the blood stream can cause Brain defects or a miscarriage when pregnant. The chances of my child having PKU was 85% because my protein levels were so high. Being adopted and not knowing any family history also left me with challenges in regards to having a baby. PKU is hard, but having PKU and wanting to give birth to a healthy child is even harder and almost impossible. We took many different routes to get on the right path. So, yet again, another lesson Landon taught us- “if at first you don’t succeed, try & try again” .
So try we did. After being referred to the Maternal Fetal clinic at women’s & infants hospital, we tried every attempt they gave us to get my Protein levels into the acceptable range. This consisted of many things.
First, bloodwork every week. Vials and vials of it. For those who know me, this girl seriously hates needles. As an adult they have to hold me down for a mere finger prick and NO I am not exaggerating!
Second, I was only allowed at first to have about 3-5 grams of natural protein a day. So for all you non-nutrition label readers like myself that equals to 1 measly slice of bread. To supplement, I took over 100 pills a day. Wait! Let’s rephrase. 100 bigger than life -horse pills a day. Now ,This was not an easy task , because at 30 I still ask for some medicines in liquid form.
Third, & the worst- was drinking the protein formula that had a thick chalk like base, tasted like dirty diapers with a hint of cherry all while smelling like battery acid. The clinical nutritionist who prescribed it to me said and I quote, ” it’s horrible Joy, I am not going to lie”. And let’s not even get started on my husband. He couldn’t even handle watching me drink it without gagging. But there I was. Doing this all on blind Faith, for we never knew if we would get the OK to have a baby. And still Landon continued to teach us, “that with Faith all things are possible”
After 7 months of being hungry, sick of the needles, gagging on the pills & formula, we finally were told my levels were safe. I believe it was the Hope & Faith Landon taught us those prior 7 months that helped us through. For the following month we were pregnant & thrilled. But thrills quickly turned to fears. Very early on in the pregnancy we met with a genetic counselor. There we learned all the disabilities in addition to PKU our child could be born with based on my condition. It was frightening to say the least.
The pregnancy continued to progress. I was in the hospital at least twice a week for ultrasounds, bloodwork and visits with the CNDC. Because I was still not allowed to eat much of anything, I was very ill. So ill, that I was losing weight at a fast rate and was put on medical leave from my job. It was then when i was really able to concentrate on staying as healthy as i could. I was not the ” oh she’s glowing” type of pregnant lady. I was more the “I’m hungry and can’t eat so get out of my way” type of pregnant lady. But, I tried to always stay positive (“tried” is the imperative word here…hehehe).
Our path to Landon was not your typical one. It all began on a day in March of 06′ and ended November 19th 2007. This was just a glimpse into the road to our Landon. No one will ever fully understand what we went through or how we felt. But thats ok. It is our story. It’s our journey. Although hard & at some points with no light at the end of the tunnel, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Despite the strong odds against my little man, he was BORN healthy. For you see, with Landon’s birth, he taught us the most valuable lesson we will ever receive-” That miracles do happen”.
So, I leave you with this 1 question. What lessons have your children taught you?
Thank you.
