But Mommy said YES! Remember playing these games on your parents when you were little? Well, I do! And although Landon has a very small vocabulary, he stills is playing the Mommy vs. Daddy game very well.  Sometimes, too well! He knows it gets to me when he wants something and I can’t understand his needs. I used to give in to him. His cries, whines, kicks and screams. Not anymore. He is, like many have told me too smart for his own good.

Landon & Mommy

Landon & Daddy

Mommy             vs.                Daddy

Landon knows how to work us as parents. For example, last night I dropped Jesse and Landon off at Toys R’ Us while I went to the bookstore. Jesse texted me saying he was being such a good boy. Which, is so not normal at the toy store for Landon as he wants everything and we say “No” to about 90% of it. However, this time he was listening. He was asking for things and when he was told “No”, he put it back and kept on shopping. Then Mommy gets there! He was the complete opposite. He wanted everything and anything. We continued to say “No” and he kicked and screamed. It was like a switch went off in his little “big” brain of his. He remembered the past times of how he acted and what he got in return. When I was a mother who cared about what people thought of me and my screaming child in a store, I would YES- I am about to say it- “give”in”.  And when I say give-in, I mean buy a $5.00 toy here and there, buy him some of his favorite snacks even though he already had some, etc…I don’t give-in with the big things- 1st off I would be broke and 2nd Landon would be a very spoiled little boy and I don’t want that for my son. I want him to appreciate all he gets….a lesson he still is learning!

Let’s not let Jesse get out of this without a battle wound either. Jesse gives in too! Its just, since I am with Landon 90% of the time, there are more opportunities for me to give-in and say “No”.  Jesse and I are on the same page. We want Landon to appreciate what he gets and when he doesn’t, we take it away. It was Jesse who pointed out to me the intelligence my son uses to play me in the store. All because of my times of weakness, Landon acts like a different child to get what he wants. In a way, this is great! He is learning to adapt around certain people, problem solve and understand his and others emotions more clearly.

Landon will continue to see the differences between Jesse and I as parents as he grows older. However, we are on the same path when it comes to the important things.  Landon is the most important person to the both of us.  We love Landon just the same even when he is playing a hard game of Mommy vs. Daddy.

Keeping it real like always-

JOY

So- long time no talk…..I have an explanation!!  Jesse was very busy last week and then ended the week with a 3 day trip to NYC to visit some friends- Needless to say it was the worst possible week for Landon to be in a bad mood…and of course he was! He was just in some sort of funk.  Actually- he still is! Please help me get him out of it….or maybe its not a funk? Maybe this is him? Not sure…but I am very tired of his hitting, screaming and tantrums that are so embarrassing I want to crawl into my turtle shell and never come out.

Today in Speech/Sensory Class a new teacher came up to me afterwards and said, ” Landon is so smart, gifted maybe and I noticed that he does not want to do anything unless he prefers it” . Well- that comment explains Landon to a “T” this week. He was super sneaky- not wanting nap-time so he hid the bedtime book, or didn’t want lunch so he hid the booster seat etc….and his lack of participation in what activities I wanted him to do- That was the icing on the 3 tiered cake! He was not having it….no finger-painting, coloring, picking up after himself, bath-time etc…If he didn’t initiate it- he didn’t want ANYTHING to do with it…He is just so stubborn!

Landon did alot of hitting, screaming, scrathcing and biting this week. This is how he shows me that he is not interested in something or if he is mad at me. I wanted to go down an aisle the otehr day at Target and he flips out into a full blown hestriycal fit becasue he wants to go down the toy aisle. With that- I said no toys and boy was it a scene. Throwing things, kicking and screaming at me. But I stood my firm ground and no toys did we see. Instead we went right home and I gave him no reaction for the whole car ride home.

I am becoming more and more concerned with his behavior. I do what the experts tell me, what the books say etc…but nothing seems to regulate him. He gets over angry and over sad if that makes sense. He can not regulate his emotions. Thank God I have a meeting with the Brown Center for Study of At Risk Children Sept 30th. Maybe they can give me the answers I am looking for or give me direction onto the right path of action.  If anyone thinks their child is stubborn- I dare you to take care of Landon for 1 day! He is the most stubborn person I have ever met!! And I mean that- because until now- I was the most stubborn person EVER!!!!!

” Time has a way of demostrationg that the most stubborn, are the most intelligent”. – Yevgeny   Yevtushenko
(Russian Poet & Writer)

Still a proud mama- JOY

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

While out to dinner tonight, Landon & I were working on our alphabet.  Where did we go you ask? We had a lovely dinner at Johnny Rockets while sitting outside and enjoying the lovely weather this evening. Landon was such a good boy at dinner, which is something that is not in his repertoire lately. But lets get back on target- I was so happy to show Daddy what a good job Landon is doing with his sounds of letters!  He starts off like a pro- ABC…saying it so fast and clear. Then, you can hear the confidence fly out the window and his voice gets lower with some cracks as if he is going through puberty! But, he continues to slowly muster the letters and for the most part gets them all RIGHT!

You heard me, RIGHT!! Just because my little man doesn’t speak in full sentences or have  many “words” for that matter, he is very bright. We are in the process of getting his IQ tested, as many people are shocked with the level of understanding he has for his age and lack of verbal communication. I don’t need to have his IQ tested to know that he is very bright.  He has learned to overcome his lack of speech  by himself. Picking up signs left and right, using pictures cards, and sounding out words all on his own.

I know some people think Landon is not ” all there” when it comes to his intelligence. And to argue them would be a big waste of my time. Every mother at some point believes their child is better than others. I did at one point. I remember thinking how could I have a baby like so and so’s. But it was pathetic. Who cares? Every child is unique.   However, lets think about this for a minute. Landon is learning things above his age range all without talking, hearing well (at one point) and not touching or participating in certain scenarios. He has found a way to continue to learn, but differently from his peers. So,  for those who think, he is not “all there”, shame on you.  He fights everyday to learn a new word, try a new food, touch a new texture etc….

I leave you with this:

The article, “Genius May Be an Abnormality: asks the question- “At what point does a brilliant computer programmer or engineer get labeled with Asperger’s?” Since there is no clear point on the continuum of abilities that designates one as “normal” or “abnormal,” she challenges people to consider focusing on the development of skills rather than the labeling of a disability. Don’t forget the  skills Landon and others with Autism, SPD or other developmental delays have to build and how they build them. Don’t write off Landon and others just because of a label.

This is a wonderful website that can explain more on giftedness and developmental delays.

Be real- JOY

Good evening Y’all-

While I sit here and enjoy my chocolate chip cookies & milk, I wonder how I became to be the mother of a sensational kid. As I ponder that question, another question pops into my head. Does it really matter? And the answer is No, it does not matter what my child has, doesn’t have, does or doesn’t do. He is my child and that IS ALL that matters.  But for those of you who need more clarification on the causes of SPD , this is for you. I was all about the “reasons” at first,  but now its just about  Landon. I know who Landon is, Landon is MY son  and no “term” will ever define who he is completely.

My 1 & Only Landon!

What Causes Sensory Processing Disorder?

There is no simple answer to this. Researchers know that SPD is a Neurological Disorder that can begin in utero and affects young children as well as adults. There does seem to be an appearance of a genetic component but it has not been 100% successfully marked.  Children/ Adults with other certain developmental issues or environmental issues can be at risk for developing SPD as well.

Children at risk for having or developing SPD are those who:

1. Have Autism, Aspergers, PDD, or other spectrum disorders (which are neurologically based too).
2. Have been institutionalized or under-stimulated during critical periods of neurological development.
3. Have been tube fed for extended periods of time (due to decreased oral stimulation and proper oral motor development).
4. Have Fragile X Syndrome, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Down Syndrome, ADD/ADHD and other developmental delays and neurological disorders.
5. Were drug addicted during fetal development.
6. Have relatives with SPD, especially parents or siblings.
7. Do not receive proper, or enough, stimulation to all senses during development.
8. Had extended hospital stays, especially in the first year.
9. Have been exposed to a variety of environmental toxins.
10. Have food allergies.
11. Those with mental health issues .
12. Are gifted.

Getting a Diagnosis:

For those of you who are concerned that someone in your family or child may have SPD, please visit this website to answer the SPD checklist. Fill this out completely and ask to make an appointment with you doctor to discuss.

SPD Checklist

I hope this sheds some light onto the causes of SPD for some of you.  I know that I am blessed to have a Sensational kid because it helps me become a better person in my daily life. Patience, Understanding and compassion are big components in my day with Landon. I have learned to be more patient, understand his needs, and be compassionate to those who want to put Landon down. It may sound funny, but for those who look down upon Landon, its only because they are afraid of the unknown. Landon looks like a “normal” child, yet doesn’t behave like one. And as his mother, I have to show him how to treat others, even if they don’t treat us the same way in return.

Till next time,

Joy

Some moms may agree with me that consistency is  KEY. Key to helping your child learn a new skill, develop a schedule, and to feel comfortable with certain people/places.  Landon is prime example of how veering off course from his schedule can have not-so-good results.  For example, if Landon does not nap and has to participate in a calm activity such as storytime, things don’t turn out so well.  He gets over tired and that is never a good thing with Landon!

Another consistent part of Landon’s day is his bedtime routine.  Landon’s bedtime routine hasn’t changed much in over 2 years and I can honestly say this is a main reason why Jesse & I have never had a sleepless night. Well-  let me take that back. We have had 4 nights where it was difficult for Landon to sleep because 1. he had a allergic reaction & ended up in the hospital 2. he had croup 3. he had croup and 4. another allergic reaction.  So you can see, the reasons for his lack of sleep those nights were out of his control and therefore would have slept the night away!

With Landon’s not-so-sophisicated palate, his mealtimes are even consistent. He eats pretty much the same thing for breakfast, lunch & dinner. I do change it up every other day, but the options are so limited.  When we go to families homes for a visit, Landon always reers off course. This is completely normal as it is hard to keep the same routine not in your own home. These are the moments when Landon’s frustrations come to fruition.

As a busy mom to a Sensational Kid, I try to keep as much consitency as possible. He even likes the same sippy cup in the morning, same shampoo for bathtime, same bathing suit for the beach and so on.  In some ways, he is asserting his own opinions as to what he likes and what he doesn’t. However, there are times when I can not give him the “same” thing he wants and he does fuss and get upset, but it’s life. I try and explain it to him the best way I know how, but God only knows how much he is understanding!

Landon is,  in most ways just like me. He loves to stick to his schedule. He enjoys the same foods over and over. He develops obsessions to things very quicky- like his paci, and blankey. At 27 years old, I still have my 15 year old pillow that my husband begs me to get rid of!  He has to have a clean room. He loves to watch a certain show with his breakfast….he loves to sleep….the list could go on! We are just so much alike its frightening sometimes.  As Landon’s mom, I promise that I will continue to help him grow in any way possible.  Consistence is key for Landon, however Landon is the key to my happiness!

Be real- Joy

First off, I know I have been MIA for a few days…Its a bit embarrassing but  here goes- well- in attempt to be green for my pocket & environment, I decided one evening to open the windows and turn off the AC unit. The stupid thing was barely working anyways. So I was going around the house opening them when I came across the only “old” window and it was jammed. So I banged, banged and SHATTER- my hand went right through the glass…..

Landon was running around butt-ass naked, Jesse was outside and heard the noise and came running- there is glass everywhere, my dog is trying to clean my wounds, my indoor cat is trying to escape through the window full of glass…Oh what a night! And oh yeah- I guess I should mention I was screaming and crying b/c I didn’t want to go to the ER- which is exactly where I ended up.

We waited for 45minutes to be seen, which is not bad in RI. They took some glass out of the wounds, gave me a Tet-nus shot and put this glue in the cuts. Boy did that shit sting. I was so relieved that I didn’t need stitches. For the next days- it was sore…still is, but I miss you all so I am writing anyways…..and now its time to go.  So, thanks for not making fun of me for my lack of aim with the window pain- hey that rhymed!! Well- night All!

Keep your AC’s on- its worth it!

JOY

Landon & I had a Mommy & Son date night tonight while Daddy had dinner out with some friends. We made pizza & dessert together! When the cooking doesn’t require many “adult” tools like knifes, shredders and open flame, I try and involve Landon as much as I can. This is a great way for Landon to fight his Oral Defensiveness he has during mealtimes. Don’t know what Oral Defensiveness is?? Here is a brief definition: the inability to use the oral mechanism for functional speech or feeding including chewing, blowing or making specific sounds. To read a more detailed definition click here: http://www.psllcnj.com/oralmotor_disorders.htm

When I include Landon in the cooking, I have high hope that maybe it will help him become comfortable & familiar with the food. But you have to learn not to have high hopes, because most of the time it does not make Landon take a bite out of that cheeseburger, or spoonful of mac-n-cheese. Just take it one day at a time. Even with children who do not have Oral defensiveness, it takes an average of 20times to introduce a new food successfully. When my OT told me this little tidbit, I was kinda surprised. But the more I talk to friends who have young children, it seems right on the money.

Tonight with the cake, he mixed the batter, added the water and butter too. But when I asked him to put his finger in the bowl and lick the batter off his finger he went nuts. He shivered, squirmed in his chair and pushed the bowl away all in one fell swoop. If he only realized that while he was mixing, some batter ended up on his fingers. But for him to consciously make the decision to stick his finger in that “mushy mess”, is ridiculous for him. It does make me giggle but only for a minute because I know this is an issue I will have with him for many years to come.

As a mother, you want to be able to feed your child and help them gain the necessary nutrients they need to go up strong and healthy adults. Sometimes, I feel so helpless. From the very start, I was unable to provide Landon with certain nutritional needs, such as the ones that come from breastfeeding. I was unable to breastfeed with Landon due to my PKU. It wasn’t hard for me to accept at first since I was just so happy to be pregnant and was praying for a healthy child. Breastfeeding was the last thing on my mind. But as time went on, friends having more children, I wished I was able to breastfeed. Even if it only was for a little while. I just tell myself that he is here and that is all that matters. He is healthy despite the little he eats.

Landon- Food is good!! I swear it! Just look at Mommy’s hips! I will make you whatever you want, whenever you want it. I would take you out to dinner 5 times a week. Feel free to learn to talk tomorrow and tell me what you want for dinner and I will go to the market and pick it up!! If only this would come true!! Feel free to add suggestions for creative meals, snacks, smoothies made with spinach- I don’t care… I will try anything as this mother just wants to be able to feed her child!! Now I am hungry and damn-it, its 10pm! Oh well- Kitchen here I come!

Hungry Mom checking out-

Joy

This is a copy of my 1st blogpost. This was posted to my previous site before this one was updated! For those who didn’t read- this explains my new site more in depth!

My Sensational Kid

In my opinion, Most mothers know their children better than anyone else. This is something that I firmly stand behind and has led me in my own battles with others regarding Landon’s development. About 2 months ago, Landon was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder, commonly known as SPD. I knew this to be true months before I ever met with my local Early Intervention team. You can say, it was my mothers intuition.

What is SPD? And what can be done for children who suffer from it?

SPD is a neurological disorder causing difficulties with processing information from the five senses (vision, auditory, touch, olfaction, and taste), the sense of movement (vestibular system), and/or the positional sense (proprioception). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_processing_disorder

Once your child has been diagnosed, they can benefit from a treatment program of occupational therapy (OT) with a sensory integration (SI) approach from a trained therapist or clinician. For more info on the treatment of SPD please click here: http://www.spdfoundation.net/treatment.html

My Sensational Kid

Since I have filled you in on the brief logistics, lets get to the real purpose of my blog post this afternoon. I have decided to write at least 4 times a week, accounting all of the challenges and daily routines I face with raising my Sensational Kid. I hope to allow others to see what it’s like for us everyday. Raising a child with SPD, is damn hard work. For those of you who differ, I hope to prove you wrong with this blog. And don’t think for one second I am complaining about my job as a mother to a sensational kid. I would not want it any other way! Landon is special because of who he is, and who he is- is a Sensational Kid!

Thanks for stopping by and here’s to a new venture!

Be real-

JOY

More days than not, I am frustrated with Landon’s “beige” diet consisting of a measly 5 things. Yogurt was his go-to item for so long as well as bananas. However, I haven’t been able to get Landon to eat a banana for over 2 months. He has been to doctors, nutritionists, dietitians etc, and everyone says he is fine….but I mean how long can this go on for??? Sometimes I am so upset with myself that I did not push Early Intervention earlier as I did see the signs, especially with all things oral related. But, my pedi kept on saying, “boys will be boys” and “only children develop later”.  I feel if I had really pushed the food issue with Landon more when he was younger he may be eating more than 5 things right now.

Landon’s Typical Daily Menu:

Breakfast: 6 ounces of 2% Organic Milk, Nutrigrain Strawberry or Blueberry bar

Lunch: Waffles, Cheese-its, Juice (usually V8 fusion)

Dinner: Grilled Cheese, Veggie Straws, 4 ounces of 2% Organic Chocolate Milk

Snacks & Dinners Vary: Plum Fruit Squeezes, String Cheese, Ritz crackers, Chicken nuggets, French fries and a few more items

As you can see, Landon’s palate is not sophisticated to say the least. I am trying everyday to introduce something to him in a new way!!!  Yesterday, Landon tried Watermelon that I cut up like stars & trees….he took a small bite!! Today, I gave it to him on the rind and he sucked the juice for a few seconds and took a small bite. Tomorrow, hoping for a small bite and for him to swallow. At least he is not flipping out when I give him the plate with the food on it. He used to literally scream when new items were on his plate. Maybe because he sees Mommy eating Watermelon everyday he is unafraid? Does anyone have any ideas of other foods I should try?? Anyone out there with kids with a “beige” diet? Let’s try and add some color to Landon’s life!  I would love to hear from you!

Keeping it Real-

JOY

Landon has been expressing his anger, frustration and even happiness with hitting. Not particularly in mean way, but a more “hey, look at me, I want the attention” kinda way. Time outs don’t work for him….and the Book 1,2,3 Magic was a waste of my time & money….so we are anxiously awaiting a new seminar that I will be attending called The circle of security. But until then here we go….

While at Walmart the other day, Landon saw this Lego set with the Toy story 3 characters on a train. Right up his alley, so of course 20 minutes of, ” Please please please” came without breath in between. Jesse & I decided to try an experiment. We are willing to do anything!!

We told Landon that we will not be getting the toy today. Instead, if he was a good boy for 1 week with no hitting than he could come back to the store and buy it. Needless to say, it was the last one so we bought it that day and hid it from him. We have been reminding him every morning that we don’t hit, hitting hurts and if he is a good boy he can get his Buzz Choo choo  as he calls it.

Today, no hitting….I don’t think we will wait the entire week to give him the toy. If he has continued on this path, I plan on giving him the toy on Friday or Saturday. He already knows that if he does hit, he will get the toy taken away. So, I will update you all in a few days!!

Take a look at the infamous toy that may change how my child reacts!!!

Night all-JOY