I feel like I am introducing myself at Over-eater’s Anonymous or AA. Hello, my name is Joy and I have a Picky Eater.  Many of you already know that Landon has an eating disorder. Its called Selective Eating Disorder.  The lovely Wikipedia states that it is  an eating disorder that prevents the consumption of certain foods. However, Wikipedia hasn’t met my son- who eats barely anything! Certain foods?? I wish!!! Landon’s palate is so limited, he ends up eating the same breakfast, lunch and dinner almost 6 days a week! This makes grocery shopping a breeze, but mealtimes are more like World War III.

 

What does Landon eat you ask? Here is the amazing list of foods that my son does consume on a regular basis:

Waffles-  plain with butter only

Pancakes – plain with butter only

Bagels- plain with plain cream cheese only

Grilled Cheese- Rye, wheat or white bread with White American only

Chicken Nuggets- Round only

French fries- plain ones (no sweet potato ones-I still try)

Snacks on a regular basis:

Nutrigrain bars- Apple Cinn. only

Apple Cinn. Applesauce pouches only (not the tub)

Fruit Snacks – any and all flavors and characters- YAY for bad snacks that my kids actually loves!

Goldfish- Only the “baby” fish (cheese flavor)

Gerber Puffs- Apple Cinn. only

Bananas

Doesn’t that sound like it would make an amazing weekly menu! I mean, I know I would not get tired of waffles for breakfast, pancakes for lunch and bagels for dinner! Can we say Carb overload??  Here is a list of what we have been able to get Landon to eat/try/consume more than once in the past 6 months.

Fish sticks- Real fillets only (no minced for my baby)

Ketchup- only the best condiment in the WORLD

Pretzels- small whole grain ones from Annies Homegrown

Quaker Mini Rice Cakes- Apple Cinn.

Cheeseburger slider- plain with just cheese

Yogurt- from a tub (not gogurt-since we need to help him learn the technique of using a utensil)

This is amazing progress, and I am grateful for it. I just wish some of these would “stick” into his diet. But I know even if we get 1 new preferred food every 3 months than I am happy with that. I’ve learned to just let it go, which is hard for me since I am Italian and an eater who loves to cook!  We show “our” love in our food! I think I have come to terms that this is something we are going to have to deal with for a long time.  I am fine with it. I will work everyday to help my child feel comfortable with food. I do get stares and glances from other moms when I tell them about our mealtime antics. Even a few times I have received the comment that Landon is just being picky because he is stubborn or testing your buttons. Or my favorite is,” he will eat when he’s hungry”. Ha! – hunger will not eliminate a child’s fear of eating certain foods- and this could actually raise anxiety levels. Trust me, from personal experience….

Landon is not being stubborn, not trying to assert his independence or trying to push my buttons. He is just like every other kid- who happens to have a fear of food- period. I respect it- and respect him and will work with him on this issue everyday for the rest of my life if I have too. I owe it to him. He is my life – and  besides I am a good cook!

 

Oh Boy- here I go! I already feel the tension on my fingertips as I write this first sentence. What is it about disciplining children that gets everyone so up in arms? Just as every parent is allowed to discipline how they see fit, every parent has the right to their own opinions about the matter. And for me, I am not shy about expressing my opinions when it comes to spanking your child as a form of discipline. I do NOT do it, do NOT agree with it, will NEVER do it and have NEVER been spanked.

I remember reading an article on this topic and hearing from children who were spanked, and how they didn’t respect their parents more after being spanked, but rather feared that they may “slip up” and be spanked again. This made my heart break…….

I am just going to keep this short and sweet. I do not feel it is necessary, as there are other ways to discipline your child that are effective. I, for not even one second can even fathom the idea that your child will respect you more if you do choose to spank as discipline. Our jobs as parents is to teach our children the difference between respect and fear. If your child fears you- how is this respect?

Maybe I am an overprotective mother, but nobody hurts my baby and that starts with me.

My kid has taught me……

to appreciate sleep, whenever you can get it.

laugh at myself and others. A sense of humor is key.

more about trains than I ever thought I would know.

that Curious George is the boss!

forgive…..forgive……and forgive.

that life is an adventure.

PATIENCE.

that a kid can’t get enough Chocolate Milk.

that bedtime should always begin with a book.

that you can’t lock the bathroom door- EVER!

that you will need a vacation AFTER a vacation.

to care less about a messy house.

to appreciate the Blessing that is known as PBS.

potty training doesn’t happen in a weekend.

consistency is key.

sometimes Birthday & Christmas gifts cost WAY to much money.

that no-one will ever love you like your child.

and unconditional love does exist……….

I can’t believe it. My son will be 4 years old on Saturday.  It was just yesterday that he was a little baby boy…..it is just crazy to think 4 years have gone by!

We celebrated Landon’s 4Th Birthday this year at Kitetails PLaycenter. It was such an amazing party! Of course, the theme was left up to Landon and he chose “Angry Birds”, so this mama was busy making decorations, custom gift bags and more. They don’t sell pre-made kits for this yet- but watch in 2 months it will be everywhere! Oh well, I enjoy doing that type of stuff. I would do anything for little momma. Not only did all the custom Angry Bird stuff come out great, but Kitetails was such a great choice. This year I wanted to do something more laid-back, non-scheduled activities, educational and just relaxing in a sense! I got that and more from Kitetails! It was amazing! I had moms come up to me and say that it was one of the most relaxing children’s parties that they have been too. You know most parties, as parents you are non-stop working to watch your kid, engage and what not…this was just so easy….Sit back in the little cafe area, eat some food and you can full view of your children. It was really perfect!

So much has happened since I last wrote in March.  Over the next few weeks, I will be updating you all on Landon, our life, our future and of course just some random topics that I just love to share my opinion about! If you ever have any questions for me, please feel free to ask away. Any topic you want me to tackle- hit me up! I love to give my opinion- sometimes even when it is not summoned.

I leave you all with some pictures from the beginning of my little momma’s life and from his fantastic fourth birthday party!

Landon John  Friedman 11/19/07

Hours after his birth

Landon at his 4th Birthday Party

Nov 5th 2011

It’s  march 2nd & I don’t want to jinx myself, but I think my son has an appetite. Not sure where it came from, but I don’t care. I mean, maybe I would care if a little green goblin came in the middle of the night and gave it him because that’s a little strange, but for the most I really don’t care. He actually said he was hungry 2 nights ago. I have never heard him say he was hungry…I  don’t think I have ever heard him say “hungry” period! I was in total shock! And what do you do when your son, who hasn’t really eaten a full days meal in 2 1/2 years says he is hungry? Well, you drop whatever your doing and get him some food dammit! I mean literally drop those dishes, that cup of coffee and get it NOW! You don’t want to miss your opportunity..because as mothers of children with eating issues know- the opportunity can disappear as fast as it appeared.

He still is very very limited on what he eats (still eats a very beige diet) but is getting better with allowing unperferred foods to stay on his plate. They just sit on his plate….maybe a lick every now and again. But this is amazing progress from 1 year ago. If you put grapes on his plate, he would cry, throw the plate on the floor and refuse to eat anything. Now, he tolerates them on his plate and continues to eat his preferred item! Amazing! But just because he is eating better, doesn’t mean Jesse and I have stopped being cheerleaders at mealtimes….we have to coax him with every bite….praise him for eating….its like he thinks eating is bad! I wish I had that complex…I would be 75 pounds lighter! But no- I love food…it’s one of my homies!

As always one proud mommy and keeping it real!

Joy

A nutty day

May 31st 2009 was a day that I will never forget. A day that will inherently make Landon’s allergy worse ( the next reaction) and a day that I became truly fearful of eating out with my son ever again.

It was like any normal day…Landon had his breakfast and snack and lunch time rolled around quickly. I was in the mood for some French Onion Soup so immediately ” Panera” popped into my head! Panera has the best French Onion Soup…….and I mean best! So Landon, Jesse and I got into the car and headed to Panera on Bald Hill Rd (the one next to Trader Joes- for all you Rhode Islanders). We have been here so many times- and almost 90% of the time we ask what their policy on working with nut products is and if the items we order have any nuts in them. WE always order the same things- every time. We feel safe with these items because we know that there are no nuts in them. This time- we didn’t ask about their policy- since we knew what it was and we were there just 4 days ago and was not veering off from the same items we always ordered.

Things went wrong- really wrong. Someone must have made something with nuts, or handled a pastry with nuts and grabbed my baguette without changing their gloves. Something that takes only seconds to do- could have cost Landon his life. That is unacceptable to me. They have a policy regarding “nut products” for a reason. They were supposed to change their gloves anytime they handle nuts-Period. No excuses…if they are busy- running low on gloves etc…
They were not busy that day…and it was early in the day that there should have been plenty of gloves…so what was the excuse- Laziness and not doing their job right.

Long Story Short- we ended going home & placing Landon in the tub as discussed with our Doctor to try and clean off any allergen on his skin…..About 2 minutes into the bath Jesse called me in to look at his eye…no Ladies & Gentleman- not his surrounding skin of his eye- his actual eyeball. It was swelling right out of his head. I almost passed out…and immediately my heart went to the floor- I felt weak, dizzy and couldn’t even talk. I called my mom and all I kept saying was, ” His eye is coming out of his head”, over and over again….Jesse Called 911 and they were here in about 3 minutes and rushed him to Hasbro…..
When we got there his breathing was getting worse and his eye literally looked like it was about to fall out of his head. They gave him so much medicine in hopes to avoid the Epinephrine because it is very painful and has its own risks. But No- my poor baby had to get the Epi shot. We were there about 8 hours and sent us home because his breathing was stabilized. Landon as on 3 drugs for about a week to try and get the allergen out of his system…and had a black eye for about 2 days after.

I can’t explain what this was like. This shouldn’t have happened. I know mistakes happen- but that’s why they have policies out there…..A mistake had already happened for them to enact this policy. Please- if you work in the food service industry- as your boss what their policy on nuts is…and if they don’t have one- contact your local town council and enact one. It saves lives.

We have only been out to eat 4 time since this incident and only 1 time did we allow Landon to eat anything form the restaurant. This is something that Landon will have to learn when he is older to understand. But for now- the burden is on my shoulders to make sure this NEVER happens again. A burden I don’t mind as long as my son is happy & healthy.

I am not Nuts…..I hate Nuts!

Joy
A.K.A Landon’s Watchdog

Some people may have called us crazy. We were planning to fly with a toddler boy who can’t sit still for more than 30 minutes at a time ( and this is usually only when eating) and go to the most Magical Place on Earth- Disney!   Guess what? Landon was AMAZING! From the minute we woke him up at 5am to leave for the airport, to the last car ride home from the airport he was such a well behaved little man. I can honestly say, this vacation was the best one I have ever had!

This trip could have ended badly…we could have needed a “vacation” from our vacation. But, it didn’t work out that way. This trip was such a relaxing one, which is very different from all of our other “Disney” trips. We were always on the go-go-go, and never got to relax and really enjoy each other on our previous trips. We always felt we needed to go to every park, every ride, see every show etc……But this time it was different.

It took having Landon to realize that our vacations  should really be about spending quality time with each other. Enjoying the sites and sounds together. Whether that be only 5 rides and 1 park- its the quality that mattered not the quantity. Before we booked the trip (which was a steal), we decided another way to guarantee more quality time (and a bonus to save some dough $) was to only pick 1 park.  Of course, out of the 4 parks Magic Kingdom is the most loved by children and I am a little bias to this park too (it has Stitch!), so  Magic Kingdom it was!
To be continued………

So- seriously long time no talk. It has been such a busy few weeks…or should I say MONTH! Landon is winding down with his Early Intervention clock and making his way to the school department so we have had many meetings. Meetings about what to expect, new testing, new groups for him to learn as much as he can before his time at EI is up, etc. Plus- I have had a busy month with appointments as well.  Nothing serious- just the stupid dentist! And oh yeah- we went to Disney!! It was fantastic….. I will be writing a couple of posts about our trip and how wonderful Landon was- but for now- I want to fill you in on the big stuff!

Yesterday we FINALLY had our meeting with the Brown Center for At Risk Children for Landon. This meeting was 6 months in the making. I am being literal when I say this- it took so long to get an appointment. They book so far in advance and they call you like one month prior and set up the time. But, it was so worth it. Any parent who has any concern about how their child is developing, please go there. They are amazing!

Testing

It was 4 hours..  and Landon did such a great job. He really was himself that day. It was a real representation of who he is most of the time and I wanted them to get a real sense of who he is. He did a little pouting, a little hitting, alot of laughs, good listening skills when asked and all in all he was himself! A very spunky boy who likes to do his own thing. Let me say that again- a boy who likes to do his own thing!! They whipped out the book of pictures that we have some to know so well….asked all sorts of questions- like point to the _____ and what is this? Lots of standard play with questions here and there and some more “book” like questions.  He did very well transitioning with us leaving the room and coming back unannounced. Very good to see!!

Results

Officially, we don’t get the results until Oct 20th. However, we had to ask the major questions right off the bat. With some Autism spectrum disorders in my family, we needed to know if we could feel 100% confident in our feeling that Landon DID NOT have Autism.  The doctor told us we were right to go with our gut, and he does NOT have Autism or any type of ADD either, another concern that some had expressed. Even if she came back with a yes to Autism, it wouldn’t change a thing. We would love Landon no matter the diagnosis.  We only want to understand Landon to the best of our ability and going through these tests is shedding a light on how my little momma works!!

Landon definitely has SPD, like I have so aggressively stated in all of my previous blog-posts. However, she also thinks he has some type of behavior/social disorder. She needs to review the tapes, paperwork and all of Landon’s files from Early Intervention and will come up with a definitive diagnosis for us. Our appointment is Oct 20th and I am so eager to learn more. I know with this information, I will become a better mother and help others understand Landon better as well.

Until next time-

One proud mommy

But Mommy said YES! Remember playing these games on your parents when you were little? Well, I do! And although Landon has a very small vocabulary, he stills is playing the Mommy vs. Daddy game very well.  Sometimes, too well! He knows it gets to me when he wants something and I can’t understand his needs. I used to give in to him. His cries, whines, kicks and screams. Not anymore. He is, like many have told me too smart for his own good.

Mommy             vs.                Daddy

Landon knows how to work us as parents. For example, last night I dropped Jesse and Landon off at Toys R’ Us while I went to the bookstore. Jesse texted me saying he was being such a good boy. Which, is so not normal at the toy store for Landon as he wants everything and we say “No” to about 90% of it. However, this time he was listening. He was asking for things and when he was told “No”, he put it back and kept on shopping. Then Mommy gets there! He was the complete opposite. He wanted everything and anything. We continued to say “No” and he kicked and screamed. It was like a switch went off in his little “big” brain of his. He remembered the past times of how he acted and what he got in return. When I was a mother who cared about what people thought of me and my screaming child in a store, I would YES- I am about to say it- “give”in”.  And when I say give-in, I mean buy a $5.00 toy here and there, buy him some of his favorite snacks even though he already had some, etc…I don’t give-in with the big things- 1st off I would be broke and 2nd Landon would be a very spoiled little boy and I don’t want that for my son. I want him to appreciate all he gets….a lesson he still is learning!

Let’s not let Jesse get out of this without a battle wound either. Jesse gives in too! Its just, since I am with Landon 90% of the time, there are more opportunities for me to give-in and say “No”.  Jesse and I are on the same page. We want Landon to appreciate what he gets and when he doesn’t, we take it away. It was Jesse who pointed out to me the intelligence my son uses to play me in the store. All because of my times of weakness, Landon acts like a different child to get what he wants. In a way, this is great! He is learning to adapt around certain people, problem solve and understand his and others emotions more clearly.

Landon will continue to see the differences between Jesse and I as parents as he grows older. However, we are on the same path when it comes to the important things.  Landon is the most important person to the both of us.  We love Landon just the same even when he is playing a hard game of Mommy vs. Daddy.

Keeping it real like always-

JOY

So- long time no talk…..I have an explanation!!  Jesse was very busy last week and then ended the week with a 3 day trip to NYC to visit some friends- Needless to say it was the worst possible week for Landon to be in a bad mood…and of course he was! He was just in some sort of funk.  Actually- he still is! Please help me get him out of it….or maybe its not a funk? Maybe this is him? Not sure…but I am very tired of his hitting, screaming and tantrums that are so embarrassing I want to crawl into my turtle shell and never come out.

Today in Speech/Sensory Class a new teacher came up to me afterwards and said, ” Landon is so smart, gifted maybe and I noticed that he does not want to do anything unless he prefers it” . Well- that comment explains Landon to a “T” this week. He was super sneaky- not wanting nap-time so he hid the bedtime book, or didn’t want lunch so he hid the booster seat etc….and his lack of participation in what activities I wanted him to do- That was the icing on the 3 tiered cake! He was not having it….no finger-painting, coloring, picking up after himself, bath-time etc…If he didn’t initiate it- he didn’t want ANYTHING to do with it…He is just so stubborn!

Landon did alot of hitting, screaming, scrathcing and biting this week. This is how he shows me that he is not interested in something or if he is mad at me. I wanted to go down an aisle the otehr day at Target and he flips out into a full blown hestriycal fit becasue he wants to go down the toy aisle. With that- I said no toys and boy was it a scene. Throwing things, kicking and screaming at me. But I stood my firm ground and no toys did we see. Instead we went right home and I gave him no reaction for the whole car ride home.

I am becoming more and more concerned with his behavior. I do what the experts tell me, what the books say etc…but nothing seems to regulate him. He gets over angry and over sad if that makes sense. He can not regulate his emotions. Thank God I have a meeting with the Brown Center for Study of At Risk Children Sept 30th. Maybe they can give me the answers I am looking for or give me direction onto the right path of action.  If anyone thinks their child is stubborn- I dare you to take care of Landon for 1 day! He is the most stubborn person I have ever met!! And I mean that- because until now- I was the most stubborn person EVER!!!!!

” Time has a way of demostrationg that the most stubborn, are the most intelligent”. – Yevgeny   Yevtushenko
(Russian Poet & Writer)

Still a proud mama- JOY